Thank you again for reading our previous posts. I received more feedback on our last post further explaining our situation.
I’m reading the book Real Love, by Greg Baer, M.D. In it he is talking about the difference between what he calls Real (agape) Love and Imitation Love. His position is that we are not raised with Real Love, that the love we have more often than not given and received is Imitation :Love. That when Imitation Love replaces Real Love, we Lie, attack, act like a victim, run and/or cling. These are behaviors we all exhibit as we learn what it is to truly love, none of us is immune to Imitation Love or the behaviors associated with it.
Dr. Baer contends that we all have given and received glimpses of Real Love, but our predominance is Imitation Love. Real Love is unconditional, Imitation Love is conditional. We all reward conditions… Our Children do something we accept and we praise them, such as good grades or a good deed. But he asks the reader, how often do we love them when the do something we do not appreciate. Do we still love them when they get the “F” on a test, or do we just criticize (however constructive) thus withholding our love?
I’m finding it to be a very direct and honest look at how we love one another, our spouses, our children, friends, co-workers, fellow human beings. It is making me ask myself some very hard questions about how I really love others. I can sense the growth as I take notes and write down the thoughts that are popping into my head. I appreciate the challenge of growth and being asked the hard questions… Yes, they are difficult, that is by intention. They can also be very painful… painful to admit the truth, painful to break yourself down, painful to acknowledge we aren’t as good as we thought. But they also tend to be the best at rebuilding a better me.
Pick it up, It’ll help you… Real Love, by Greg Baer, M.D.
